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Senioritis II: The Quest for More Money

11 Saturday Apr 2009

Posted by mnhanson in Johnny Depp, Lewis Black, Scholarship, school, Tim Burton

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Hello, Friends. I’m trying to update more often so people know I haven’t collapsed under the weight of the stress and gone off the deep end (i.e. suicide bomb the fuck out of whoever invented the future). But first, here’s a little ditty I tossed off recently in the Caribbean:

That dashing young actor called Depp,
Eccentric and a bit out of step,
A lover of art,
And a gypsy at heart,
His image fills maidens with pep.

He’s playing The Mad Hatter in a live-action version of Alice in Wonderland, which I thought sounded lame until I heard how closely it follows the book. Wow, Tim Burton actually digs on the morbid undertones of Alice. Who would have thought?
Long story short, I’m withholding criticism. For now.

I’ve been drinking more often now that I’ve got less than a month until graduation and little idea of how I’m going to go from broke-ass, jobless, and restless to successful, glamorous grad student (hopefully with a paying gig) in just a couple of months. I was in a similar situation 5 years ago, but this go around finds me with even less financial support thanks to my fully tapped college fund.

This month’s exciting mission!: FAFSA. Fucking FAFSA. I have to do this shit if I want to get anything from my school’s financial aid office. Not to mention the host of scholarships that require you to first complete the FAFSA, regardless of whether or not they’re billed as “merit-based.”

Upcoming mission: Applying for the “Delaying the Real World Fellowship.” Sounds like a scam-and-a-half, but there’s no application fee, so what the hell. It’s a $5,000 grant. Deadline: May 30, 2009.
Oh, yeah, I’m supposed to be finding money for school, ain’t I? I guess I’ll do this one, too: The Union League Civic and Arts Foundation Creative Writing Competition. Deadline: June 1, 2009. You must be a legal resident of Illinois living within a 100-mile radius of the Chicago Loop or be registered in an Illinois school within a 100-mile radius of the Chicago Loop and submit an original work of creative writing (short story, creative nonfiction or novel excerpt) to qualify. Lucky me.

One more thing…
Why would anyone be surprised by a major American company censoring gay/homo art? Still, people are freaked out about Amazon’s latest FAIL: Let’s bury this “adult” literature in our system!
Yeah, I’m not shocked. I am, however, pretty offended and irritated by the blatant use of backward logic. They know they’re not fooling anyone, so why bother? It reminds me of Lewis Black and his rant about how the government and major corporations have been fucking us over for decades, but only in recent years do they seem content to just rub it in our faces. Before, it was like “when you’re in a hotel, and you know somebody’s fucking somewhere, you just don’t know where.” Now they have no shame – “they’re like two dogs that are stuck together.” They just don’t care.

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