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The Long Weekend

16 Wednesday May 2012

Posted by mnhanson in Holidays, Sam, Spencer, St. Paul, Wedding

≈ 1 Comment

Alternate title: A Wedding and a Funeral

If I get married, I’m going to forego the traditional First Dance in favor of Couple’s First Pie Eating Contest.

This weekend, I learned that the mind of a five-year-old child is much more complex than I previously thought. I discovered this because my cousin Katie got married. (Congrats, Katie and Josh!) My sister was a bridesmaid, and her role was to march down the aisle at the start of the wedding, then back up the aisle at the end of the wedding, each time escorted by whatever dude they paired her with (I think his name was Mark). This is pretty standard procedure, but her five-year-old son, Sam, hasn’t been to many weddings, I guess, because he thought he was watching his own mother get married to another man while he, his father, and his little brother sat in the pews. At first, he was quite upset. He refused to speak to his mother, wouldn’t sit for photos with her, and was just generally morose. Due to this, his dad took the two boys home instead of to the reception. Later, however, as Daddy was putting the boys to bed, Sam was much more pragmatic about the issue. He wanted to know if his new dad would take him to Legoland and where they would all live.

The next morning, Mommy made sticky buns for breakfast, and, of course, all was forgiven. I repeat: the mind of a child is a fascinating thing. How does it function? How does our reasoning evolve? It goes beyond socialization and experience. I assume the development of the frontal lobe plays a major role, as well, but what else is there? What I really need is for someone to map all the brain in each of its developmental stages and explain to me which does what. I’ll have to post a request to reddit as soon as I can come up with a title that won’t fill up the page.

Gramma Esther’s memorial service was this weekend, as well. It was a beautiful day; we told family stories, ate lunch, then took a bunch of flowers leftover from the wedding to put on all the family plots.

Love you, Gram!

One of the plots we beflowered was my great-grandfather’s, who died in 1961 (dude was born in 1876). He still has progeny paying tribute at his gravesite. Pretty awesome.

But, sigh. No more grandmas. No more grandpas, either. It’ll take some getting used to. Is there some organization I can apply to that will send me barely-legible checks for ten dollars every year on my sister’s birthday?

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Gutterballs

21 Saturday Mar 2009

Posted by mnhanson in Grandma All, Iowa City, Iowa Writers Workshop, Meredith, New York City, Sam, School of the Art Institute of Chicago, Spring Break, St. Paul, The Big Lebowski, University of Iowa

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Watching The Big Lebowski. I decided to watch it after reading I’m a Lebowski, You’re a Lebowski, which I had to do to cheer myself up after reading about the bombing of Hiroshima for class. I didn’t think I would find a book more depressing than Primo Levi’s Survival in Auschwitz. Then I read Letters from the End of the World: An Eye-Witness Account of the Bombing of Hiroshima. It turns out that things can get even more depressing than an account of someone being systematically dehumanized while being physically, mentally, and emotionally crippled by the intense suffering inflicted upon them by their fellow human beings.

As it happened, I was not accepted into the Iowa Writers’ Workshop, but I’m actually pretty happy with this turn of events. I’m excited for the future. Still haven’t heard from the School of the Art Institute of Chicago, from which I’m supposed to get a letter sometime soon. I’m going to be glad when it comes, whether I get in or not. It’s the waiting that kills me. Plus, the program is really unique and innovative, which makes not knowing ten times harder. I could see myself living in the South Loop, going to grad school. And when they called me for my phone interview, it sounded like they thought they were stealing me away from the Worskhop. I just let them keep thinking that.

Woo hoo! SPRING BREAK!! Yeah, I spent it traveling with my parents. I spent St. Patrick’s Day with my parents and grandmother. I was in Spencer on Tuesday afternoon and Wednesday morning, celebrating my grandmother’s 96th birthday. She’s starting to talk more about going into a nursing home. Of course, she wants it to be near Uncle Jim and Aunt Mary. When we got to St. Paul, we spent an evening having dinner with Jim, Mary, and Kate. I told Jim about how Grandma manages to steer the conversation to Jim no matter what we’re talking about. For example: I was telling her about that book I was reading for class, and how horrifying it was to imagine this poor man running around the bombed-out city of Hiroshima, desperately seeking his family, and somehow, we went from talking about that to talking about how Jim spent so much of his free time helping the neighbors out with yard work without being asked. She also mentioned during this trip that Jim was such a perfect son, he never once threw a temper tantrum.
Anyway, we took Grandma to Cindy’s Steakhouse for her birthday dinner, and they brought her a small, yellow cake that was still warm. The whole meal was good, but the cake was especially nice. I think Grandma enjoyed herself, and she got to see a couple of her former students.

Then to St. Paul, where I bonded with my nephew and spent some time with my sister and her husband. Got another great meal from a fancified restaurant. We talked about my possibly staying up there for a while when the new baby comes, helping out a bit and saving money. I thought this might be nice, especially since Sam and I get along so well, and Meredith is able to get so much more done when she runs errands if there is someone else along to keep him occupied. When we went to Lowes on Thursday, she was able to get all of her business done while I took Sammy around the store. He seemed to like it. We looked at all the tools, then he sat in every riding lawn mower there. He calls them tractors. He also wanted to test out all of the bathroom fixtures: toilets, faucets, whathaveyous. It’s pretty easy to keep him entertained. I think we spent at least an hour over a period of three days sitting in their front window looking out at all of the cars passing by on the road. “Big truck!” “Where are the people going?”
Also, he’s scared of the car wash. Interesting.

So, that was spring break. Now I’m back in Iowa City sorting through things that I need to get rid of, being that I know for sure now that I’m not going to be here in the fall. The question is, where am I going? Chicago? St. Paul? New York City? Even Los Angeles is in the running.

For tonight, though, I’m keeping a narrow focus on movies and a Tombstone pizza that is currently cooking in my oven. Perfect, lazy end to a lazy spring break.

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Should I Stay or Should I Go?

29 Thursday Jan 2009

Posted by mnhanson in Iowa Writers Workshop, Philosophy, Sam, school, travel

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Everyone:
I’m sending in my last grad school application on Saturday, I think. I will not know anything until April or May. It’s kind of disconcerting, not knowing where I’m going to be after my lease runs out on July 31 of this year. On the plus side, I get to ask people to give me suggestions about where I should go if I don’t get accepted into any grad schools. It is a possibility. If it happens, I will be running away to a big city. But where?
I don’t want to do that thing where you just spin the globe and go wherever your finger lands, and plus I don’t have a globe, but I am considering moving my entire life to a place I’ve never been. Or maybe I was there once and didn’t dislike it.
So please, if anyone out there has been around, I must decide within the next six months what to do with the next couple of years. Please send suggestions. I have considered becoming a matador.
I’m taking a philosophy class in a last ditch effort to expand my mind before I leave school – perhaps for good. This is a chance for me to learn something about truth and the universe, which I probably need because I’ve spent the last four years watching movies and reading books and writing. So I sit in class and I try to listen because I want to do well, and I really do want to learn this stuff. However, I can’t stop myself from writing poems and synopses for future short stories.
I’ll be taking notes in my notebook, talking about Frege and probably Sartre at some point, and somehow, I’m not sure just how it happens, I start copying lines that I think sound particularly poetic. Or maybe an anecdote in one of the texts gives me a good idea for a story, and I have to write it down before I forget. And that is stupid because most of the ideas I write down never end up becoming a story anyway. So I’m pretty much just throwing away perfectly good knowledge to think about something that probably doesn’t matter.
When I start thinking this way, I look at pictures my mom sends me of my sisters’ kids.
That’s my dad with the kid on his shoulders. And those shoes on the kid’s feet are Timberlands.
I love this kid, but I watched Juno the other day and was reminded why I never, ever want to be pregnant. Yucky. He’s cute though, right?
I think I’ve fulfilled my updating obligations now.
One more thing: Yes, one of the grad schools to which I applied is the Iowa Writers’ Workshop. I will definitely not find out anything until at least late March, probably April. If I get in, I will post an ecstatic message here. If I think of it. You’ll probably hear about it somehow.

If anyone has any extra Christmas cookies they need to unload, you know, taking up valuable freezer space, I can help you out with that. I’m still driving my van, and it has plenty of room for boxes and boxes of cookies, if need be. I will be responsible for the picking up and the hauling and all that stuff. I’ll also work with you if you’ve got cake, pie, fudge, or something with potatoes in it.

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On the Road II: Withdrawl

13 Wednesday Aug 2008

Posted by mnhanson in Dublin, Grandma All, Ireland, Keenaugh, Lynne, Meredith, Mom, Nadia, Poetry, Roddy Doyle, Roundstone, Sam, Sligo, Spencer, St. Paul, Yeats

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August 2
The last couple of days have been tough. It’s pretty impossible to get any time away from my parents. All I want to do is sit quietly and watch people, but Mom won’t let me go anywhere by myself. I found my way around Dublin by myself for six weeks – they never gave us directions, just told us a time and a place. And yet, I managed to survive. But now, it’s like I have no ability – apparently, I can’t read maps or follow road signs. It’s horrible. Roundstone was a town that literally had one street. How am I supposed to get lost in a town that only has one street?
I don’t really have any time to do any real writing, either. Just documenting. Like, about the trip to the Aran Islands. That was wonderful. I was happy to be with my parents then – touring the island of Inishmore, seeing the fort, and I even got a sweater made ON the island. I’m really excited about it. But I can only spend three or so days with my parents, constantly by their side, before I start to feel like I’m going to strangle someone. I’m just not used to spending so much time with people.

Before we came to Sligo, we stopped in Cong, very small town, almost impossible to get lost, though we did manage to lose each other for a few minutes looking through the old monastery/cemetery there.
The Irish are very pragmatic when it comes to utilizing space. Nothing is wasted. When a church is falling apart (they don’t tear them down, because, unlike our country’s Puritan founders, they revere what they see as holy relics – the Puritans never liked to put any stock in earthly things) and the graveyard is full, they start burying people within the old building’s crumbling walls. But it was beautiful there. Huge trees, clear water, and green, green grass. By far the most beautiful grounds of any holy place I’ve seen.

In Sligo Abbey, there was a grave marker with the family name, date of death, and details about the mother chipped away. Or maybe they weren’t details about the mother. Maybe the (vandal?) chipper had removed the words, “May he rest in peace.”

Sligo Abbey is pretty full of death. Near the Abbey are the ruins of a private home built using stones taken from the Abbey that was out of use by that time (18th Cent.). I guess living on such a small island teaches a society how to make use of everything.
Went to the museum today. Mom, Dad, and Lynne are going to his grave to pay homage, but I just can’t. I can’t survive wtihout time to myself – silence and stillness. Both are necessary for me to maintain some semblence of sanity.


Sorry I Didn’t Visit, Mr. Yeats

A family built their home
With stones
Taken from the Abbey
And its cemetary
Where graves became unmarked.
Long lost Christian bone
Missing soul that disembarked
Years ago and gone
To worlds unknown
Perhaps beyond the Hill of Tara.

The alter stands alone
Remaining
Without its sacred tome
To give it meaning
So ferns and flowers grow
Through the cracks that are
Ever lengthening

A man’s existence can be erased
With a chisel taken to the stone
That once marked his eternal place
But now serves as a mantle
For the family’s fireplace
Inside their modest home.

August 3
Getting on a plane tomorrow. Good thing we’re not staying two nights in this B&B. The hostess is so uptight. She has little signs posted everywhere with the house rules. She has to have everything just so. Not the type of person who should be welcoming strangers into her home. It’s called Rathview House in Swords. Beware. Beware.
I did end up seeing Yeats’ grave. On the way out of Sligo, Dad stopped the car so Mom could get into her bag and I could have a look at the man’s grave. Not what I expected, but now that I’ve seen it, I realize that it’s exactly what Yeats would have wanted. Maybe even too elaborate for his taste. It’s kept very clean so that it looks like new. Also on the way out of town, I saw, from a distance, Queen’s Maeve’s burial mound. She’s purported to be buried standing up, facing the enemy. I read in “The Feckin’ Book” that in her time it was said that she bedded up to thirty men in a day. She must have been exhausted. My hat is off, Queen Maeve.
Stopped by to see Maggie Delaney on the way to Swords. Stayed for less than half an hour. We might have had more time if we hadn’t stopped in Ballyshannon first. There was a “French” market going on there. Apparently, “French” just means “open air” market to the Irish. There was nothing French about it. Except all of the French-speaking tourists.
Down the road from Maggie’s house is an old mill, all crumbling and full of trees, overgrown with ivy and moss and raspberry bushes.

I with we couuld have spent more time there, in Keenaugh, with Maggie and looking at the Mill, but we were off to Swords, where we ate at a tavern called The Cock and served boring food like the type you would get at Applebees. The menus said, “Tommy Guns, Burger Heaven, USA.” Weird. Our uptight hostess recommended it. Should have guessed that that anal retentive priss would sent us to a shitty place like that to get dinner. She probably thinks it’s rustic.
Still reading Bibbonne. This book has a lot of typos, but it’s really interesting. Learning a lot about rural life in Ireland from the 1920s to the 1970s.

August 8
Holy shit! So busy these last couple of days – and when I wasn’t busy, I sat on my ass and drank.
I read half of “A Star Called Henry” by Roddy Doyle on the filght home. It’s freaking awesome. Almost finished with it now. After spending a few days at home, we’re up in St. Paul to visit the Tessiers. Mom and Dad have taken Sammy to the zoo. He’s learned about a million new words since I last saw him. Now he babbles like he’s paid to do it. Meredith and Andrew are getting ready to go to a wedding and after Mom and Dad bring Sam home and put him to bed, we’re all going to sit down and watch “The Quiet Man,” which I’ve wanted to watch since the second week I was in Ireland. After visiting Cong, where it was filmed, I wonder if any of the locations will look familiar or if it all will have changed too much. At least we know the pub will look the same.

August 10
Left St. Paul this afternoon and arrived in Spencer at about 4:30pm. It’s bloody awful hot in the upstairs with no air conditioning. It’s hard to imagine that Grandma All’s house came from a catalogue for $600.
I’ll see Ilse in a couple of days and we’ll talk about how we miss Ireland. I felt really nostalgiac watching “The Quiet Man” though we were only in Cong for an afternoon. A little more than a week ago, it was.
I already miss Sammy, too. He loves water. His favorite things to do at home are to play in the kitchen sink (“washy” he calls it) and to play with a hose attached to a small, plastic fire hydrant that hooks up to the garden hose. He also loves bath time. He likes trucks and ball – “golf!” he knows. Daddy must have taught him about golf. He also loves to walk Nadia. She’s still very tolerant of him, though not quite as attached to him as she is to Meredith and Andrew. Mom and I make sure we spoil her whenever we visit. I gave her chunks of hamburger and the strips of pure fat from my bacon accompanied by maple syrup leftover from the awesome waffles Meredith makes.

Tonight we took Grandma out to dinner and showed her pictures from our trip. Tomorrow we’re taking her out to breakfast and then it’s back to Davenport so I can get my teeth cleaned. The dentist found two cavities a few days ago – one for each year since I was last there. Ooops.
John Rogers told us before we left for Ireland that the return home would be more difficult than the trip there. All I can tell is that I’ve been irritable.

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