Category Archives: Image

Congratulations!

06 Wednesday Oct 2010

Posted by in Image, Jayne, Wedding

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My best friend, Jayne, was married this weekend to her longtime boyfriend Caleb. These are two of my most favoritest people in the whole world. I can’t wait to watch them live and grow together to become an unstoppable force of awesome.


Much love.

Overheard in Millenium Park

15 Saturday May 2010

Posted by in Image, Overheard

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‘On Facebook alone, I have six-hundred-and-some friends. I don’t even know all of them.’ A guy in his early twenties walking with a girl around the same age.

‘Ah, yes. Fresh bodies.’ At Cloud Gate (better known as ‘The Bean’), a guy in his mid-twenties standing over two girls around the same age who are laying on their backs underneath the giant, shiny bean and taking pictures of their reflections.

Hipster girl: ‘How about that bench over there?’ ; Hipster guy: ‘What’d you call me?’

‘… when she gave us all the crayons the last time, so we did, and then he drew a picture of 9/11 and then he drew a picture of Kevin and then we had to clean up because it was almost time for… ’ Kid 10 or under babbling to his mother about his day at school while she does her best to feign interest.

‘Just your body gonna tell the story.’ A young woman was walking with three other women through the pavilion.

‘I’m beginning to believe that I need it. I know I don’t.’ Woman walking along Michigan Avenue, quickly, with her friend.

My First Gray Hair

20 Saturday Mar 2010

Posted by in Grandma All, Image, Poetry

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I was lucky this Paddy’s Day, because I got out to enjoy my lunch of corn beef, cabbage, boiled potatoes, and a Guinness before my festive mood was crushed.I spotted one of those little short hairs that sticks up conspicuously, and if I’m truly honest with myself, it wasn’t actually gray, but white. I found a white hair attached to my head.

At first, I was totally in denial. I thought it had to be a brain worm that had just finished chewing on my right frontal lobe and was coming up for air, but then I pulled it out and stared at it for a while. It did not appear to be alive. I pulled out another hair to compare to the white one, just to be sure, and appeared to be identical, except for the difference in pigment. I did this several times until I had a large patch of hair missing, kind of like a monk. Unfortunately, the only wig I own is a pink mullet that I got for Halloween about ten years ago.

So I called my mom and explained my crisis in detail. I told her how I recognize this as the first sign that my youth is officially over, yet I have no job, am single, and live in a 600 sq. foot apartment in which my only companion is a tiny mouse I’ve adopted and named Ben but who I know only loves me because I feed him Butterfingers. Mom laughed at me and hung up. Decided not to seek sympathy from my grandmother, who turned 97 that same day.

After writing about the inevitability of death in my journal, I ordered a large pizza, and watched ‘Animal House,’ which is my comfort movie.

That was three days ago. Depression still periodically rushes over me in a wave.

This story is kind of anticlimactic. Sorry.



All of these people are old now, and some of them are probably dead. Happy weekend!